I usually don’t use pharmaceutical drugs. Lately I have been. For my migraines, mostly. Gravol and triptans. Both make me feel awful. Thursday I went rooting through my (admittedly small) stash of drugs for some Tylenol 3, in order to get through a long day.
(In case it isn’t clear, I still had a migraine.)
I slept in as much as possible before going to work. I didn’t make myself a lunch. I made the fastest breakfast I could think of – fried eggs.
The above photo was taken early in the morning while I was preparing my breakfast and lunch. I lay on my kitchen floor beside my refrigerator to take it. This is the towel (rag, really) that I use to wipe my hands while I’m working in the kitchen. I change it every day for a clean one. It hangs from a hook with a clip – the kind you’d use in your laundry room, to hang a small item to dry.
The day didn’t end well. I woke up with a migraine which got progressively worse as the morning went on. I left a community meeting partway through the noon hour, afraid I was going to vomit. (I did, later in the afternoon. Twice.) Spent the rest of the day in my bed, sick as a dog. When I have a day like this, where I don’t feel well, I get really down. Enough said.
I woke up exhausted this morning – the accumulated effects of several days of insomnia and migraines. I fed the cats a snack. Went back to bed. Fed the cats their breakfast. Went back to bed. Still had a lingering migraine, decided to stay home from work. Slept. Woke up. Slept. Slept some more.
At lunchtime my forgotten lunch date woke me up with a phone call. Oops. Realized after I hung up that my endo pain had returned. Joy. Did some deep breathing. Didn’t help. Slept some more.
Before this post gets too depressing, let me just say that I hate pain. I really hate it. And when I have it, I don’t like being awake. Or even alive. That’s just my truth right now.
But the nice thing about sleeping away the day away, in pain? My serene bedroom. And my cats. They sleep with me, keeping silent company. Snuggled close to my body, warm.